Overpowering Offense
Ben Johnson - August 16, 2026
Colossians 3:12-15 (NLT) – Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.
Healthy relationships aren’t CONFLICT-free, they’re FORGIVENESS-filled.
Matthew 18:21–35 (NLT) – Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!
“Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt.
“But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt.
“But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment.
“His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full.
“When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt.
“That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters[e] from your heart.”
1. Offense will HAPPEN.
You can’t HELP getting hurt. But you can choose to HARBOR it.
2. Unforgiveness will HURT you.
Unforgiveness quietly POISONS everything.
3. Forgiveness will FREE you.
Ephesians 4:31-32 (NLT) – Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
Forgiveness isn’t EXCUSING them. It’s REFUSING to let them CONTROL you.
Pain is INEVITABLE. Offense is AVOIDABLE. Forgiveness is NONNEGOTIABLE.
Life Group Discussion & Questions
BREAKING THE ICE: What’s something small that annoys you way more than it probably should?
DIGGING IN: It’s easy to laugh about the little things that bother us, but it is something totally different when the offense isn’t small and was done intentionally. Read together Colossians 3:12-15 & Matthew 18:21-35.
1. You can’t help getting hurt. But you can choose to harbor it. What’s the difference between being hurt by someone and holding onto the hurt?
2. When you’ve been hurt, what are you most tempted to do: replay it, talk about it, withdraw, retaliate, keep score, or pretend you’re fine? Why do you think that’s your default?
3. Matthew 18 is really about the danger of keeping score. Is there someone or something you find yourself repeatedly bringing back up in your mind? What does that reveal about your heart?
4. Unforgiveness quietly poisons everything. How can unforgiveness begin affecting you, even when the person who hurt you may not even know you’re still carrying it?
5. Ephesians 4 says, “forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Why do you think remembering how much God has forgiven us makes it easier to forgive someone else?
BRINGING IT HOME: As you close, take a quiet moment and pray this simple prayer: Jesus, thank You for forgiving us when we didn’t deserve it. Help us release the offenses we’ve been carrying and give us the strength to forgive those who have hurt us. Remind us that forgiveness doesn’t excuse what happened, but it frees us from carrying the pain any longer. Today, we choose to lay down bitterness, release the debt, and walk in the freedom and peace You have given us. Amen.